Straight White Boy Problem #495

straightwhiteboyproblems:

*texting girl for a good twenty min*  *no reply for five min*  *panics and checks her snapchat count and it’s rising*  *starts thinkin about how i really screwed up in that last text* now im not hungry for dinner

09.16.2014 / +799 / straightwhiteboyproblems
09.16.2014 / +48 / lzbth
09.16.2014 / +68 / donttouchmyarse / makeupmaniacc

ohmygod im gonna pass out tbh

09.16.2014 / +1

brbjellyfishing:

The fact that this episode is 10 years old and Beyoncé is even more relevant today is just fabulous

wilderness-lair-shatterdome:

current status: not being kissed or riding a dragon this is unacceptable

expensiveface:

"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual 

unimpressedcats:

"Can’t wait for the meowtch!" cat tells football players before the Volga Nizhniy Novgorod vs Krylia Sovetov game

blueeyedmarilyn:

Tattoo this on my body.

WARNING: DO NOT BUY THIS DOG FOOD

loudblackram:

plushestrumpest:

image

DO NOT BUY THIS BRAND.

Pedigree is on a nationwide recall.

Pedigree made my 6 month old puppy too ill to eat anything for days.

If you have this brand please toss it and buy Purina, Science Diet, or Blue.

Please do not feed this to you animals.

Do not buy this brand.

It’s true

09.15.2014 / +31739 / techonlogy / plushestrumpest

appetites:

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

Especially the last one damn

coochiejuice:

The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die

09.15.2014 / +151925 / blueklectic